Wednesday, June 16, 2010

E3 Madness, Part One

Due to some paperwork SNAFU, I was unable to attend, but the beauty of the internet means I can sit in my comfy chair, my cat batting at my ankles with his teeth and a can of Pepsi while I watched press presentations from Microsoft, Nintendo and Sony. (Note to self: GO NEXT YEAR!!)

The press things are where each of the companies reveal new games, announcements regarding their consoles and you usually get the scoop on all the goodness coming to the console of your choice.

Can I say right now that it wasn't Killzone 3 or Medal of Honor that had me having geekgasms all over myself?

No, they did not. I did not feel the slightest bit tingly in my neither regions.

But here is a list of the things that DID result in passionate moans, gripping my chair and even had me knock over a soda!

-Kinect for XBOX360. Kinectimals sold me with the little girl and her pet tiger, Skittles. I am enamored with having a cute virtual animal because this means he will not require a commode for me to scoop assorted lumps out of, I will not have to deal with him racing around my house at 4AM, and he will not cough up hairballs on the clean clothes I lay out right before I go take a shower. I also believe that this pet will also actually listen to me and not bite me when I try to touch him, unlike the feline we currently have, who does all of this AND also has a penchant for tearing posters off the walls.

-PlayStation Move. Support for Heavy Rain made me happy. Games like Heroes on the Move had me cheering. (Jak, Daxter, Ratchet, Clank AND Sly Cooper in one game? Yes please!) This might remove my need for a Wii altogether.

-Metal Gear Solid: RISING. Fuck guns. You get a SWORD. You can Ginsu all the bad guys and obstacles into julienne French Fries! Blades don't need reloading.

-Portal 2. 'I hope we can put our differences behind us...for Science. You MONSTER.' GLaDoS's voice seriously made me spill a can of Pepsi in my lap. I have been trying to get my mother to play the first one. I think everyone should try Portal if they haven't yet.

I'm awaiting some announcement from BioWare regarding Mass Effect 3. I demand some naked Shepard, and would request that the voice actor for everyone's favorite Spectre call and read me Green Eggs and Ham. The voice gives me epic goosebumps...the good kind. It is likely Jason Statham will be removed from my Bench and replaced with Commander Shepard.

Yes. Way hotter than Jason Statham IMO.

I'm gonna go take a cold shower. More later!

Be Well,


1 comment:

  1. I want Metal Gear Solid: Rising in an epic way. Always been a fan of the MSG series, and I am excited for some sword swinging action this go around.

    The fact that the PlayStation Move is compatible for Heavy Rain just urges me to get both.

    Can't wait to